Saturday, 13 March 2010
Yay! another lb down and some thinspie :)
Yay! Down another lb and I can see my face starting to look a lil more sleek in the mirror. It's still quite rounded, but now the roundness is less severe :) to mark this happy occasion I present to you some tape measure thinspie :) will post again later on.... enjoy x
Crapiness and Luscious Legs
Still feeling like crap tonight, but R seems to be feeling much better so I hope my stomach settles down soon! Spent the whole day in pyjamas today... had no energy at all. Have had precisely 10cals in the form of 2cans of diet blue charge energy drink. Other than that I have had a humungous amount of ice cold water. Been crapping mountains though! Ugh!! My ass is raw :(
Anyway, I feel in real need of more thinspie and as a short-ass I can't help but dream of perfect pins that would help create the illusion of a taller figure, and that look great in a pair of killer heels, so todays topic is luscious legs!! Enjoy:
Anyway, I feel in real need of more thinspie and as a short-ass I can't help but dream of perfect pins that would help create the illusion of a taller figure, and that look great in a pair of killer heels, so todays topic is luscious legs!! Enjoy:
Friday, 12 March 2010
Eeeeewww!! What a day!!
Lastnight my baby girl got sick with a tummy bug. We're talking projectile vomit all over herself, me, and the sofa. She found it hilarious at first and kept trying to giggle (she hasn't quite mastered it yet, kinda squeals and snorts at the same time lol) here she is after I changed her:
She soon stopped being happy when it kept happening though, poor thing. I was up aaaall night and all morning with her and now....... I've got upset tum too! :( God it feels awful.... got an ass that feels like it's on fire and a throat that feels like it's been ripped to shreds from the inside :(
On the plus side I REALLY don't feel like eating today.... so let's hope this unscheduled abstinence from the foodies, combined with my body's impression of a double ended fountain, gets rid of an extra lb or 2.
Oh yeah, got my monthly too... first one since having my lil girly, it's sooooo heavy, so I got cramps from that too!! What a day :(
She soon stopped being happy when it kept happening though, poor thing. I was up aaaall night and all morning with her and now....... I've got upset tum too! :( God it feels awful.... got an ass that feels like it's on fire and a throat that feels like it's been ripped to shreds from the inside :(
On the plus side I REALLY don't feel like eating today.... so let's hope this unscheduled abstinence from the foodies, combined with my body's impression of a double ended fountain, gets rid of an extra lb or 2.
Oh yeah, got my monthly too... first one since having my lil girly, it's sooooo heavy, so I got cramps from that too!! What a day :(
Thursday, 11 March 2010
Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!! (and thinspie)
Okay, my fast finished at midnight last night and I immediately stuffed my fat face with 4 bags of crisps and 7 chocolate digestives..... Ugh! Panic! Purge! Fuck that stuff tasted bad on it's way out....
Forced about a litre of water down my throat to dilute any calories left over in my already way too big gut and then went to bed and cried myself to sleep. Wtf happened to my craving for oranges and celery?? I'll tell you what happened.... I saw the crisps in the cupboard and went beserk! So, as the title says: Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!
G woke me up as he got in the door from work at 7am, I fed R and as G had got the shopping for me I had a plateful of lettuce, cucumber and carrot with 3slices of ham. The ham came to 120cals, the salad stuff was all neg cals so I'm cool with that.
At 1pm we had lunch..... oops.... 2 slices of steak and cheese stuffed crust pizza from Asda with a huge plateful of lettuce and cucumber. It didn't say on the pack how many cals were in the pizza so I'm gonna guess and say 300cals a slice, just to be sure.
And cos I felt like a fat pig for all those cals (720 not including neg cal stuff) I just had plain salad tonight - lettuce, carrot, cucumber, and pickled onions (all neg cal foods). Just couldn't bring myself to go up to the whole 800cals... so maybe my well thought out plan is out the window for a while and I'll just coast along and see what I'm gonna do as I do it.
In much need of some thinspie now, so here we go!!
As a tribute to Zen's chocolate covered ass, which was a great photo! Today's topic is asses lol
Forced about a litre of water down my throat to dilute any calories left over in my already way too big gut and then went to bed and cried myself to sleep. Wtf happened to my craving for oranges and celery?? I'll tell you what happened.... I saw the crisps in the cupboard and went beserk! So, as the title says: Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!
G woke me up as he got in the door from work at 7am, I fed R and as G had got the shopping for me I had a plateful of lettuce, cucumber and carrot with 3slices of ham. The ham came to 120cals, the salad stuff was all neg cals so I'm cool with that.
At 1pm we had lunch..... oops.... 2 slices of steak and cheese stuffed crust pizza from Asda with a huge plateful of lettuce and cucumber. It didn't say on the pack how many cals were in the pizza so I'm gonna guess and say 300cals a slice, just to be sure.
And cos I felt like a fat pig for all those cals (720 not including neg cal stuff) I just had plain salad tonight - lettuce, carrot, cucumber, and pickled onions (all neg cal foods). Just couldn't bring myself to go up to the whole 800cals... so maybe my well thought out plan is out the window for a while and I'll just coast along and see what I'm gonna do as I do it.
In much need of some thinspie now, so here we go!!
As a tribute to Zen's chocolate covered ass, which was a great photo! Today's topic is asses lol
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
Happy Happy Happy!!
Sorry I didn't get online yesterday, was sooooooo busy all day! Decided on an impromptu spring cleaning fest!! lol
The fast is going well, I have eleven and a half hours to go and have so far lost 5lbs! Yay!!!
Tomorrow I plan to have a maximum of 800cals, though it may end up being less, as I am crazy craving celery and oranges right now wtf? lol at least they're neg cal foods, so I can indulge away!! ha ha
I decided to start up a facebook account which is at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?ref=profile&id=100000885491862 if you want to add me, feel free :)
I'll post again later on with some thinspie x
Sunday, 7 March 2010
1hr To Go!
Just 1hr till my 3day water fast begins and I'm so excited about it! G knows it's starting and is gonna be my motivational support through it :)
We're going for a 3hr walk tomorrow afternoon, and I'll carry R in her baby carrier to burn up those extra cals!
I might pop out with R in the morning for an hr or so too ha ha, start as I mean to go on, huh!?
Tuesday I'll be swimming for an hr and we'll prob walk 2-3hrs as well.
I almost forgot to mention... I got a call back today about a job I applied for and have an interview next Sunday... bit miffed that I have to have an interview on my very first ever Mother's Day, but oh well, at least I get to spend every day with my gorgeous lil girl! :) I love her soooo much! She's 11wks old tomorrow :)
Here's a pic of my precious lil baby girly:
We're going for a 3hr walk tomorrow afternoon, and I'll carry R in her baby carrier to burn up those extra cals!
I might pop out with R in the morning for an hr or so too ha ha, start as I mean to go on, huh!?
Tuesday I'll be swimming for an hr and we'll prob walk 2-3hrs as well.
I almost forgot to mention... I got a call back today about a job I applied for and have an interview next Sunday... bit miffed that I have to have an interview on my very first ever Mother's Day, but oh well, at least I get to spend every day with my gorgeous lil girl! :) I love her soooo much! She's 11wks old tomorrow :)
Here's a pic of my precious lil baby girly:
I bought this top for her in H&M, as well as a cute Rolling Stones one too :)
Well, I might just treat myself to one last cup of tea before I start my fast, ha ha, so night all and I'll be back online tomoz for an update :)
Tomorrow is day 1 of my 3 day detox fast and I can't wait!!! I am sooooo looking forward to it!! I've got that buzziness about me that only comes from that euphoria of feeling totally and utterly in control of myself. Super-disciplined-and-productive. What a high!
I came across a page today with a comical outlook on eating disorders, which made me laugh my ass off and thought I'd share it with you: http://healthmad.com/conditions-and-diseases/new-exclusive-ed-establishment-proposal/ enjoy! lol xx
Today's thinspie is themed JEANS:
Saturday, 6 March 2010
Athlete and Dancer Thinspie
It has been nice to feel my clothes getting looser over the past week or so while getting ready to start my restriction regime. I'm starting a 3day detox fast this Monday (day after tomorrow) and am so looking forward to getting myself back on track! :-)
I went walking with my fiance (G) and the girls today for 2hrs. I carried R in her baby carrier - she likes the closeness while still being able to look around, and I like the fact it makes my body work harder.... lol. And we did the waltz and the cha cha with M while walking down the pathway ha ha ha! What a sight we must have been!!
Well all that walking and dancing about got me thinking about the controlled discipline shown by dancers and athletes, so I decided to look up some pjotos to use as thinspiration relating to those activities and here's what I've found: (hope you like them as much as I do!)
Well all that walking and dancing about got me thinking about the controlled discipline shown by dancers and athletes, so I decided to look up some pjotos to use as thinspiration relating to those activities and here's what I've found: (hope you like them as much as I do!)
Friday, 5 March 2010
A Little About Me
Where do I start?
Well, I'm 30yrs old, in a long term relationship, mother of 1 (baby girl aged 10wks), and step-mother of 1 (girl aged 7yrs).
I live with ednos which shows a natural lean towards the restriction and fasting characteristics of anorexia. This is an ed which has blighted my life for many years. I do what I can to educate myself and keep myself safe. I even write articles for publications with regards to the inner workings of eating disorders and how to efficiently help your loved ones who may be living with these afflictions.
My current situation is stressful of late as I had gestational diabetes while pregnant with my daughter and this, combined with a self enforced national average healthy eating plan meant that I put back on so much weight and as such my feelings of control have been totally obliterated. I look and feel awful. However, the diabetes has now disipated and I am finally able to start getting myself back on track.
Currently, my body feels sluggish and saturated with unhealthy vibes. I plan to kickstart myself off with a 3 day juice fast to begin detoxification. After this I shall begin my restricted calorie controlled eating plan with a daily limit of 800cals for 1wk then reduce the amount by 50cals each week for three weeks, increase by 75cals in the 4th week and resume the 50cal drop thereafter etc. until I reach a natural fast. So it shall go as:
Wk 01 = 800cals
Wk 02 = 750cals
Wk 03 = 700cals
Wk 04 = 650cals
Wk 05 = 725cals
Wk 06 = 675cals
Wk 07 = 625cals
Wk 08 = 575cals
Wk 09 = 650cals
Wk 10 = 600cals
Wk 11 = 550cals
Wk 12 = 500cals
Wk 13 = 575cals
Wk 14 = 525cals
Wk 15 = 475cals
Wk 16 = 425cals
Wk 17 = 500cals
Wk 18 = 450cals
Wk 19 = 400cals
Wk 20 = 350cals
Wk 21 = 425cals
Wk 22 = 375cals
Wk 23 = 325cals
Wk 24 = 275cals
Wk 25 = 350cals
Wk 26 = 300cals
Wk 27 = 250cals
Wk 28 = 200cals
Wk 29 = 275cals
Wk 30 = 225cals
Wk 31 = 175cals
Wk 32 = 125cals
Wk 33 = 200cals
Wk 34 = 150cals
Wk 35 = 100cals
Wk 36 = 050cals
Wk 37 = 125cals
Wk 38 = 75cals
Wk 39 = 25cals
Wk 40 = FAST
As you can see, this is a very gradual process to reach a natural fast. This is because it is less damaging for your body if you exert the extra control to resist a sudden shock to the system by hurtling into it without careful consideration.
I devised this method after many years of completely abusing my body with sudden fasts that were unprepared for and feeling awful each time I lost control.
You may wonder why I feel such a need to have control in the first place? Well that's an easy one to answer. Before I met my current partner, I spent just over a decade in a horrifically violent relationship where I was treated like a human punchbag, so much so that eventually I developed epilepsy from recurrent head trauma. I had been cut off from everyone I knew. Friends, family, even the neighbours. I had strict rules that if I broke one of them I would be rewarded with a beating severe enough to land me in hospital. My food intake was the one and only thing I was allowed to exert any kind of control over. It became my obsession, my compulsion, my never ending internal battle. It is both a nuisance and a blessing in simultaneous co-existence. Something I have learned to live with and accomodate into my life by arming myself with knowledge regarding Fasting Therapy (google it for more info) which is my saving grace in a sea of misconcepts and distortions.
This diary is my online sanctuary, my venting area, my safe haven, my refuge. A place to voice my thoughts, my dreams, my ideals, and my aspirations.
I am The Scene Queen, and I have been Thinspired By Nature.
Well, I'm 30yrs old, in a long term relationship, mother of 1 (baby girl aged 10wks), and step-mother of 1 (girl aged 7yrs).
I live with ednos which shows a natural lean towards the restriction and fasting characteristics of anorexia. This is an ed which has blighted my life for many years. I do what I can to educate myself and keep myself safe. I even write articles for publications with regards to the inner workings of eating disorders and how to efficiently help your loved ones who may be living with these afflictions.
My current situation is stressful of late as I had gestational diabetes while pregnant with my daughter and this, combined with a self enforced national average healthy eating plan meant that I put back on so much weight and as such my feelings of control have been totally obliterated. I look and feel awful. However, the diabetes has now disipated and I am finally able to start getting myself back on track.
Currently, my body feels sluggish and saturated with unhealthy vibes. I plan to kickstart myself off with a 3 day juice fast to begin detoxification. After this I shall begin my restricted calorie controlled eating plan with a daily limit of 800cals for 1wk then reduce the amount by 50cals each week for three weeks, increase by 75cals in the 4th week and resume the 50cal drop thereafter etc. until I reach a natural fast. So it shall go as:
Wk 01 = 800cals
Wk 02 = 750cals
Wk 03 = 700cals
Wk 04 = 650cals
Wk 05 = 725cals
Wk 06 = 675cals
Wk 07 = 625cals
Wk 08 = 575cals
Wk 09 = 650cals
Wk 10 = 600cals
Wk 11 = 550cals
Wk 12 = 500cals
Wk 13 = 575cals
Wk 14 = 525cals
Wk 15 = 475cals
Wk 16 = 425cals
Wk 17 = 500cals
Wk 18 = 450cals
Wk 19 = 400cals
Wk 20 = 350cals
Wk 21 = 425cals
Wk 22 = 375cals
Wk 23 = 325cals
Wk 24 = 275cals
Wk 25 = 350cals
Wk 26 = 300cals
Wk 27 = 250cals
Wk 28 = 200cals
Wk 29 = 275cals
Wk 30 = 225cals
Wk 31 = 175cals
Wk 32 = 125cals
Wk 33 = 200cals
Wk 34 = 150cals
Wk 35 = 100cals
Wk 36 = 050cals
Wk 37 = 125cals
Wk 38 = 75cals
Wk 39 = 25cals
Wk 40 = FAST
As you can see, this is a very gradual process to reach a natural fast. This is because it is less damaging for your body if you exert the extra control to resist a sudden shock to the system by hurtling into it without careful consideration.
I devised this method after many years of completely abusing my body with sudden fasts that were unprepared for and feeling awful each time I lost control.
You may wonder why I feel such a need to have control in the first place? Well that's an easy one to answer. Before I met my current partner, I spent just over a decade in a horrifically violent relationship where I was treated like a human punchbag, so much so that eventually I developed epilepsy from recurrent head trauma. I had been cut off from everyone I knew. Friends, family, even the neighbours. I had strict rules that if I broke one of them I would be rewarded with a beating severe enough to land me in hospital. My food intake was the one and only thing I was allowed to exert any kind of control over. It became my obsession, my compulsion, my never ending internal battle. It is both a nuisance and a blessing in simultaneous co-existence. Something I have learned to live with and accomodate into my life by arming myself with knowledge regarding Fasting Therapy (google it for more info) which is my saving grace in a sea of misconcepts and distortions.
This diary is my online sanctuary, my venting area, my safe haven, my refuge. A place to voice my thoughts, my dreams, my ideals, and my aspirations.
I am The Scene Queen, and I have been Thinspired By Nature.
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